Gay Parents

Many people are following developing trends of freedom to marry in the U.S. for reasons that go beyond dreams of a beautiful wedding ceremony. As the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community receives the right to create legal family units built upon matrimony, the opportunity to be a full family with parental rights and responsibilities also follows. Some of the options that many couples consider include fostering and adopting a child in need of a family.

In California alone, some 36,000 youths in the foster care system are looking for families. Since its start in 2011, a local nonprofit Fostering Family Connections has been busy connecting youths from eight Los Angeles area agencies with adults who have room in their lives for the joy of parenthood.

Fostering Change

The group notes that homes are needed most urgently for children over the age of 5. Another type of youth they often see is LGBT teens who have been rejected by their birth families. While fostering is a challenge that is not right for everyone, the differences that are seen in the lives of youths who are fortunate enough to find families can be inspiring. An expert notes that, for those who are interested in the idea of parenting but want to know more, “fostering provides an opportunity to ‘test the waters’ and experience the realities of parenting before deciding to pursue adoption.”

Fostering to Adopt

A gay couple in Southern California initially tried out parenting with a fostering arrangement that brought a pair of young brothers into their home. The prospective parents were frank with their social worker guide from the start, though: they were unsure if they could face the prospect of losing their kids if the foster children’s parents wanted them back at some point. The two boys they ended up fostering, now ages 10 and 14, had lost their mother to a car crash and their father “wasn’t around,” so the likelihood of the fostering arrangement proceeding to adoption was very good.

In the beginning, they knew that children of school age would be best for them, mainly for child care reasons. Since a large number of youths in the foster care system are over 5 years old, they were like a lot of foster parents: able to begin the parenting process a bit further along than starting at the beginning with a brand new baby.

Patience With the Process

Since adding their boys to the family in 2008, they have raised a family with joy. They have officially adopted them with full parental relationships for both parents. All involved advise that the process of adoption can be very lengthy and somewhat demanding, so a great deal of patience and persistence is required from the start.

Fun to Be Famous

A gay TV star and his husband adopted their son four years ago, when the boy was 5 years old. Their son Zion, now 9 years old, is now featured in a performance film about the joys and travails of parenthood that is screening at the Outfest Fusion Festival in Los Angeles; on the red carpet, he announced: “I like being famous.” While the family may stand out a bit, as “your average same-sex couple, tri-racial family down the street,” it is their experience of love and joy that make them a family, despite appearances.

Extending Opportunities

As more LGBT couples find themselves legally able to marry, many also consider the joys of starting a family. As laws continue to evolve toward full equality in anticipation of the outcome of the decision on same-sex marriage at the U.S. Supreme Court this year, the opportunity to foster children is one that many people are exploring. The chance to offer a loving and stable home to a youth in need of a family is a good first step toward appreciating the joys of raising a family.